I was having this crazy dream of chasing this giant bone--the biggest bone in the world--and as I would close in on it, it would move off, just out of reach. I ran until I fell down exhausted, but I never could catch that bone.
As I say this, I realize that it probably sounds pretty strange. I should explain that I'm a dog. My name is P.C. I was in the back seat of the Jeep with Sassie (she's a dog too). We were going someplace again and I had fallen asleep. Sassie had awakened me by licking my nose. I guess I was twitching while chasing that stupid bone.
Chris and Stuart are in front talking about some jewelry show they're going to. It's Sunday and they're still talking about work. And people think they're smart. Chandra is in the back with us. She is a people, a female teenager people, and she talks a lot, but now she's sleeping.
I look out the back window--oh yeah, there's the horse trailer. We're going for a ride. Actually they are going for a ride. Sassie and I will be expected to walk--like always.
When we stop and get out we're in this fantastic redwood forest. Everywhere you looked there were monster trees, some as big around as my dog pen and they disappeared into the sky. Ferns were everywhere and a gurgling stream ran just below where we were parked. Smells were overwhelming--especially deer smells.
Sassie wanted to run off and play but I know how some of these "rides" go--we'd better save our energy. These people think that dogs never get tired.
They took Joe horse, Hollywood horse, and Gypsy horse out of the trailer and saddled-up. We all took off down the trail. The trees got even bigger and everything got darker. Chandra started talking.
Suddenly a big buck deer with massive antlers jumped up right in front of Sassie. We both took off after it. Chris and Stuart started yelling at us to come back, but it's really hard to hear when you're chasing a deer.
Sassie was about five leaps in the lead but she had gotten a head start. I could hear the horses far behind running in our direction.
We ran around trees, jumped over rocks and fallen trees, over hills and through streams. All of a sudden I remembered my dream of chasing this giant bone. This deer was just like the bone; every time we got close to him, he took off faster. We couldn't hear the horses anymore.
We came to a gorge about as wide as our driveway at home. The deer jumped it easily. Sassie jumped it and hit the far side perfectly, and disappeared! I hit the brakes.
I couldn't see Sassie but I could hear her. She was yelping--my Sassie was in pain. Apparently she had fallen into some kind of hole on the far side of the gorge. I knew I would never be able to jump the gorge. Sassie is a lot younger than me and she is a great jumper. She should be; she practices jumping in her pen all day long. Up and down, up and down. She thinks if she jumps enough, someone will come along and let her out. All this jumping makes me crazy some days.
But for all her jumping ability, she didn't seem to be able to jump out of whatever kind of hole she was in.
And she was hurt, oh my poor Sassie, my lady, the mother of my puppies, was hurt and I couldn't do anything to help. Help! Yeah that's what I need, help.
People are slow, and can't see as well as us dogs. And their noses are mostly for decoration, but you gotta give them credit--they're smart. And this was just the kind of predicament they're smart about. I had to find my people.
I followed my trail back for a long, long, time. I hadn't realized how var we had come. "P.CEEEEE!" That's Chandra calling. I barked back. I'm not much of a barker, I usually bark about once a year, but this was important.
We found each other and I ran around in circles wagging my tail. I found out later that I was supposed to run up to them, tug on their clothing, then run off barking in the direction I wanted them to follow. Unfortunately, I missed the movie where Lassie demonstrated this technique.
"Where's Sassie?" Chris asked. Chandra started yelling "SASSIEEEE!" But of course no Sassie came.
Stuart grabbed my collar and held me quiet. "P.C., go find Sassie," he instructed. I started back into the forest with the people following on the horses.
We finally came to the gorge. We could hear Sassie yelping on the other side. Stuart said, "Good job, P.C." Chris said, "Sassie's over there somewhere, we've got to find a way to cross the gorge."
They tied up the horses and started walking along the gorge. Finally they found a large tree that had fallen across the gorge and we climbed across on the tree. Then back we came until we found Sassie. She had fallen into a hole that was narrow on top and wide on the bottom and deep.
Chandra was the only one who could get through the hole, but it was so deep that we needed to tie a rope to her and nobody had brought a rope.
Chris suggested, "Let's use the reins from the horses." Stuart went back to the horses. Both Hollywood and Joe horse had double reins, so he removed only the left rein from each horse, and left them tied with the right rein. See, I told you people were smart.
He came back, tied the reins together and looped them around Chandra's waist. As Stuart was lowering Chandra into the hole, she asked, "Are you positive there's no snakes down there?"
Stuart said, "No snakes, snakes hate redwood forests."
Chandra got to the bottom and started to examine Sassie. "I don't see anything wrong with her, but it's sorta dark down here, we both want out of this hole!"
She tied the reins around Sassie, and Stuart started pulling her out of the hole. Chandra tried to help by pushing Sassie's rear, but Sassie let out a loud yelp. "That's where she's hurt," Chandra reported, "on her left hip."
When Chandra and Sassie were both out of the hole we examined Sassie and found that she had a bad sprain and could barely walk. Stuart picked her up and carried her. He looked like a tight-rope walker balancing with her on the log over the gorge. By the time he had her back to the horses he was exhausted. Sassie's a big dog, she weighs almost 100 pounds, I didn't know how they were going to get her back to the jeep.
After he caught his breath, Stuart got on Hollywood horse and had Chris and Chandra lift Sassie onto his lap. Sassie didn't like being on a horse and squirmed violently. Hollywood hated the idea of having a dog on him and threatened to buck. We finally got everyone settled down and slowly rode back to the Jeep. We got Sassie comfortable in the back of the Jeep and the horses back in the stock trailer and drove home. I licked Sassie all the way home, that made her feel better.
By the next morning Sassie was so much better that she was jumping up and down in her pen again.
Chris came out and got both of us and told us, "It's obvious to me that both of you need to freshen up on your recall command." She made us both stay, then come, and stay, then come about a thousand times.
The problem is not that we don't know how to come, it's just what I said before, when you're chasing a deer it's really hard to hear.